Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
