If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
