They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
