I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
