My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
