i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
