I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
