sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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