just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
