took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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