There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
