i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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