used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
