im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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