Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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