how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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