All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
