I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
