Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
