yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
