If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
