the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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