Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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