I can tuck mytits in my pants
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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