its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
don't judge my taste in strippers
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
