Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
