Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
