Fuck appropriateness.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
