Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My ass is underappreciated
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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