I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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