Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
