I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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