"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
