Me. At least after what I've been through.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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