i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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