he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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