Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
