plz talk dirty to me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
