I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Pants are for mortals
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
