Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
