Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
