Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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