do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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