apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
