I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
