so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
