There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
