when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
