that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
