I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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