I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
